Have you tried getting up, even though it's the middle of the night? That would be unpleasant but perhaps better than ruminating?

I would see that as a type of therapy. And with that kind of listening orientation I would not expect her therapist to express an opinion as to whether to leave or stay with you.

That certainly is a concern.

With regard to commenting on your progress, I wouldn't call that needing to appear innocent, because I was thinking of innocence more in terms of sexual innocence/naivete. Another reason she might lie is because, in the past, she was harshly punished when caught doing something wrong. This example of her saying that she congratulated you, and then agreeing that she didn't, could be really instructive. I wonder what would have happened to her in the past if she were with a previous guy, especially the abusive guy, in this situation. Could you discuss that example with her further? In a nonthreatening, nonjudging way, perhaps you could ask her to think about what brought her to lie about the text messages. Perhaps she didn't even realize it was a lie; perhaps in her mind, she had already congratulated you.

How long ago was the boob shot narrative you shared?

It is possible that she still does dic pic stuff, but how likely is it, in your judgment?

Well I think that you are tolerating the uncertainty and stress pretty well, now that you've stopped with the drinking. She gives you a lot of triggers, and you have managed to not blow up. That says a lot.