Quote:
Originally Posted by daisydid
This is what I mean when I say I'm a monster. I manipulate people in a way that is unfair and cruel in order to retain a worldview that isn't serving me anyway. I don't believe that RoboT is bad or is trying to hurt me, but I stacked the cards in a way so that he had no choice but to hurt me.
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I don't think you're a monster; I think that approach was probably very useful to you at some point in your life. It either helped you get your needs met in some way, or as you say, helped you feel like you controlled them not getting met--we all need the illusion of control.
It takes a long time and a lot of work to change how we are in the world. It's a process, so try not to beat yourself up too hard for it.