Disclaimer: This is not suicide talk but rather just emotions. Do not attempt to stretch it out of proportion or put emphasis on something where it does not belong. Thank you.
Ok, so since all the stress my husband and I been going through, he was being rather cruel in non-physical ways to me for awhile. The past couple days, he has not done so as much. Which gives me time to wind down. But in winding down, I find myself wondering "would it really matter if I died tomorrow or even today? would anybody truly notice and if they did would they care? would they even care enough to be sure I got a proper burial, or just let the state handle it? what does my existence matter, other than it freaks both me and others out to consider if I helped the process of ending my existence?" Seriously, I am not sure what's worse - being wound so tight I felt I couldn't think or breathe without the world caving in on me, or winding down and being slammed with unwelcomed thoughts...
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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
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