I think your reaction makes sense actually. The emotions you felt and feel are completely valid and underrstandable, his comment would have upset me also. He may have been deflecting in an uncomfortable situation for him, maybe his go to is humor, I don't know. But that kind of "joke" just doesn't sit right with me at all.

It sounds like, after some time, you no longer mean what you said, bit the emotions are still there. Can you express that to him? Let him know that that kind of humor is upsetting to you? Even tho you were triggered, that does not take away from how you feel, and I see no reasoon that you should feel shame.

For example, if someone comes up behind me and hugs me without me noticing they are there or asking if they can hug me, they are likely to get an elbow to the gut. Even tho I don't believe that my action is appropriate there, it is a reflex for me. I don't like being touched, and as long as I am asked and have warning, I am okay with it with certain people. I don't feel shame for the behavior, itself, instead I explain to the person the reason for it and I request they ask from then on.

With PTSD, our reflexes don't often make se new to normal people, but these reflexes have protected us for years, so they still exist.