I took a DBT course about 10 years agi, and one of our homework assignments was to complete the sentence "I deserve..." It only then occurred to me that i never used the word deserve in a positive sense, only negative - i deserve to be ignored, etc etc. It was a real eye opener for me. My mother always used to tell me that "that was for American kids, not YOU" (yes, i was born here!). Its very hard to think that anything (not just material goods) is for me. Im working on it.