Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedHaldol
I think about death all the time. Always about what it would do to my wife. I can not get life insurance because of my illness.
Neither option is a good one, but I think unwelcome thoughts is a better option. You can start to learn how to deal with those thoughts and how to combat the adverse effects on you.
People would think about you when you're gone. It is not worth it - allow those people to think about you now. If you have a close friend you can talk to, or get a therapist - you need a way to deal with these feelings you are having.
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I have coping techniques and etc in place n they work, even though I have no real life friends nor therapist currently. I just really get tired of having to do those things when honestly this isn't from my MH issues, it's from circumstantial things. Even people without any MH issues would find themselves dealing with unwelcomed thoughts at this point. Honestly though I really am uncertain if people even care aside from a few here, but if those in my real life never notified anyone here (which they would not bc they don't know how to access my account n I prefer it that way), then how would anyone here know? Suicide is never a danger for me as I decided long ago the complications of a failed attempt are too high a risk, but still the thoughts can spiral me if I am not careful. When I spiral, I start hallucinating, I dissociate, I become suicidal even though it's never "enough", my anxiety becomes horrendous, my PTSD goes through the roof, and I detach myself from everyone and "cocoon" but when I "emerge", I am very unstable and normally land in a psych hospital.
It's been a few years since that has happened and I don't want it to happen now.