That event with the phone certainly would be unsettling. Assuming you say it in a nonjudgmental way, how would she deal with this very reasonable statement of your feelings?

How would abusive guy treat her if she did something he didn't like? He could be another reason that she learned to lie.

With regard to the boob shot and people changing, I'm not yet persuaded that boob/dic shots are things that she normally engages in. They might well be, but so far I've just heard about those isolated cases. My view would be that something that happens a small number of times has not yet risen to a habit or something that one is "into", even if she kept those two shots that we have been discussing.

How well and frequently do you stay in contact with her when you are apart?