Hi dwfieldjr

I guess it may help in a situation like that to look at things from every concievable angle you can, and if you can come up with either a possibility that actually things aren't that bad/things being thrown at you aren't necessarily personal (aimed at you in a negative manner) or strategies to minimise any negativity...........otherwise distance..........

I've got to say though..........your time in the army...........I'd think it must be real hard to not naturally expect some negative reactions from others even if negativity isn't there after being treated so very badly .........unless you feel you've moved on from that...........???

But.........different angles may include.......maybe right or wrong.......you're being put on the spot because they've recognised that you've got some real knowledge, maybe even respecting that knowledge.........they're feeling some stress, whether it shows or not, and looking for some help or confirmations of things, so not personal, or maybe are stressed and they don't even realise they're doing it...........don't know if they are jealous of your lifestyle but if they are that doesn't need to mean that they feel badly about you or want to take it out on you, maybe..........or maybe they're more curious about your lifestyle, not meaning you have to tell them anything of course........if they talk s*** or trash does it have to hold any real importance to you or could you maybe see it as they just don't "get it" which is their problem and either put them politely straight or divert the conversation, just leave the problem with them but of course I don't know what they're saying............
Just a few examples but there could be loads of spins on what they say/do which aren't aimed at you personally, and maybe some you can "let go" off..........

And I'm thinking, if you agree, maybe you could minimise some of the conversations/things others say which are bothering you by changing subjects, responding with minimal/or no details about you or your personal life/trying to keep conversation more "professional" from your side......speak up more if someone's asking you something unreasonable/to do something unreasonable to do with work...........and of course making sure that you cover yourself in terms of your work i.e. you have any concerns documented, if you have any problems with task load/keeping up to date you're reporting those and recording, if there are any issues in the workplace slowing you up that you're reporting and recording those too.......but if ever you are feeling harrassed or discriminated against, well just know the policies for reporting........well you probably know all of that stuff anyway........

But still.........different angles..........maybe there is a possibility that intentions aren't as negatively steered towards you?? I don't know, sorry.

But if you are real stressed about work.........you could maybe try some relaxation techniques (whatever the issues are!!) or doing more (enjoyable stuff) outside of work to readdress the balance and help you in handling the stress better........then if nothing helps maybe talk to your pdoc about what you're going through and the stress with a view to some support other than changes in meds.......plus you might want some more support based on your experiences in the army and their effects, which I'm really sorry you had to go through.......and if you think cutting the caffiene might help...........

So..........just some thoughts...........



Alison