Sometimes secrets make us sick. Truth is usually healthier for us in the long run. Perhaps what you are really bothered about is not telling her the truth. Last year, I found it helpful to talk to my therapist about some of my experiences with sex. After talking to her about what was bothering me, it has become easier to talk and write about all my experiences. Have you spoken to a therapist about not liking sex? I do not want it as much when I am depressed or taking to many antianxiety medications (For example, I wonder if the amount of depakote you take could be effecting you--when someone I know was on it, it seemed to slow them down but I am not an expert.) Sex sometimes can lift your spirits so I hope you can figure out why you don't enjoy it. Your profile says you are bipolar and ashamed of the diagnosis. Perhaps you are in the middle of a depressive episode? When I am depressed, I beat myself up and have a lot of shame. I hope you feel better soon!