Not sure if this is the right forum, but since I'm experiencing extreme derealization/depersonalization I'm not sure where else to put. I think the world is not real, everything is so foggy and its causing me to panic. I've starting taking street xanax because my brain feels on fire and I'm constantly feeling like I'm ab to black out. The thing is I have this fear I'm going psychotic because this type of stress isn't normal like test anxiety or maybe social anxiety. This feeling is making me suicidal. I just want to not feel this way. I'm not hallucinating but the world feels so ****ing weird. I use to smoke weed and I've taken acid about 3 times. I feel like I'm having a bad trip/panic attack on weed 24/7! it's insane but telling someone is even more scary, because when I use to get bad trips it was the fear of people knowing that drove me insane and made me crazy. I'm going to the doctors office tomorrow but what do I tell them? like hey doc, I'm really stressed? (the thing is I'm not just stressed I feel like I'm living in a waking nightmare) I want to be able to explain it so I don't ****ing do some crazy ****. I feel like I'm developing schizophrenia since I'm right at the age of the development for that (I'm an 18 year old male). Also my uncle and great uncle had schizophrenia. Also I'm not feeling my self lately, I don't go out, I don't play piano and I can barely talk to people because I'm constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown. Everything I use to like to do is so dumb because the world doesn't feel real. Please if you are responding do not indicate I might be developing psychosis because it will trigger me. I feel so scared, just I need help on my next steps because I can't tell my parents but I'm on their insurance. Personally, I want to do something drastic like like maybe outpatient? but my parents would flip then I'd get suicidal and panic. I need it to be lowkey I guess. Just need some tips and help. Also if it's in the wrong forum could you point me somewhere else. Thanks.