Well my bipolar took a Turn for the worst this past winter. A depressive episode and mixed features began last summer and it gradually just turned really dark and my depression bottomed out around February. My dad passed away from cancer in December- i didn't see him since last July though as he lived in oHio for his job. So that didn't help matters. I began ECT treatments for the depression the beginning of February (2 x a week for twelve treatments, then 1 x a week for four or five then every other week, etc.; we are at one every three weeks now for maintenance treatments) Then the end of February my 94 year old grandmother who I had been helping tontake care of with my mom fell and broke her pelvis. She was at the local nursing home/ rehab center then. March 3 they sent her to the hospital and they discovered her organs were beginning to shut down. She was put on hospice then. We thought she would pass in a matter of days, doctors too, but she hung on for two months. May 1st she passed away. But for over two months , almost every day I would seee her and it hurt so badly because she was always so independent and then so helpless it seemed. So that didn't help matters, either

Between deaths and the bipolar I think I turned to bulimia full force because I couldn't handle facing reality anymore. I needed the reprieve, though fleeting, from everything and bulimia offers me that.