Well I'm definitely not depressed. My daughter moved the rest of her stuff yesterday to her dorm. Her room is so empty. I've been having horrible panic and anxiety attacks and wonder how I'm going to pull this off. I'm keeping busy but I just feel sick. I think this is particularly hard because we're so close and because she's the only one who has seen the good, bad and ugly of my illness and has always "gotten" it. She's always been of the mindset that her mom is ill and sometimes we do things a bit differently and that is ok.

We have been each other's support (which some may disagree with but it worked for us). Whenever either of us was having a tough time just holding hands and saying everything will be fine would calm us right down. She was going to stay and go to college here but I knew she needed to fly so I helped her with the bigger college 2 hours away. That was the most loving thing I could do for her. Thanks for letting me rattle on. I feel better now (or that could be the Valium).

Sending big hugs.