I've lost it pretty close to completely. Too paranoid to share details right now. I came out of it or I would not be here right now. I feel close to losing sing it again. Just one disaster away from it all. I've got a plan. It will crumble! I might just need to get drunk. I need to put on clothes to go to the store but none fit. Maybe a taxi. It always feels like forever even if it's not.