It's not something I'm happy with because I need that. I think that's why ive been so lonely even though we are together. Ill just have to find some way to deal with it I guess. I had a crush on someone outside my marriage but I'm just friends with this person now, he gives some of that comfort that I'm missing. I've distanced my self from this person quite a bit though because my husband isn't into the idea of being open in our relationship and I respect that. I made a life commitment to him because I love him and I don't want to do anything to break that.