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Old Aug 16, 2017, 07:48 AM
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UpDownAround UpDownAround is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: 3rd rock from Sun
Posts: 2,717
Experiencing my first bout of depression with my new med regimen; I had stayed slightly to moderately hypomanic for about 2 months and finally crashed last Friday. I am just moderately depressed most of the time and can do what needs done and hold up a facade so most people can't tell. But every now and then, a deeper depression seems to wash over me pretty suddenly and stay with me for a bit. It almost feels like I physically weigh more, my thoughts go dark and there are usually some tears involved. Then minutes to hours later the weight is lifted and the moderate depression returns. The facade falls apart when this happens, though I can usually manage to prop it up just long enough to escape social/business situations where a blank look and tears would out me (as being depressed, anyway).

My depression deepened more gradually in the past. Also, when I say I crashed on Friday, I can pin it down to the afternoon when I felt like I had just put on a lead overcoat; it was one of these waves. I was relieved when it lifted but disappointed to find it wasn't really gone, just moderated. Anyone else get these "waves"?
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Up and down
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Pink Floyd - Us and Them
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|bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD
|lamictal, straterra
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Fedor