Thank you for answering Jennifer1967. i gave it some more thoughts thanks to your last question.

Satisfied? it happens rarely. most of the times i feel satisfied when something good happens unexpectedly. but that means its only a matter of luck.

the other times, i get to feel satisfied in that little time gap between when the wanted thing becomes real and when i actually realize it did happen. usually it takes me some time to realize something good happened and i feel "woah, i cant believe it!". but then it suddenly becomes as if it was taken for granted and i start to feel disappointed and dismiss the whole thing.

maybe the problem is having too high expectations???

i dont feel i have too high expectations, but maybe? or maybe i expect external things to make me happy and solve my life? this would explain the disappointment.

i was also thinking though that this thing is really confusing when its about yes/no situations because having experienced both sides and both times wanting the opposite makes me wonder what i really want.
for example, when im single i think i want a bf, but when i have a bf i think i was better off alone. so do i want a bf or not?????

it really confuses me about what i REALLY want and i still have no idea of why it happens