Quote:
Originally Posted by John Dough
Thanks again for everyone's help, I appreciate hearing different opinions.
I know I haven't done anything wrong but I feel so guilty. Any advice how to deal with the guilt?
My wife definitely knows something is up now, I know I can't tell her about this but I'm struggling with how I try to explain why I'm acting differently with her
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Okay, well personally I think your thoughts about this woman (and that's exactly what they are, just thoughts) are symptomatic of the problems you are having with your wife not the other way around, you describe your issues as going back some time.
I would aim to keep any discussions contained to the topic of your marriage, about the issues you have written about here, the lack of sex, the conflict which is possibly behind that.
As for dealing with the guilt, Bill suggested earlier treating these as intrusive thoughts and acknowledging them ("There they go again") then moving on. If you have not acted on these thoughts, you have not pursued this woman, your only contact with her is at work which you can't avoid, then there is nothing to be guilty of.
Perhaps your guilt is actually to do with the negative feelings you have had about your wife?