People walk away from me no matter what... Online, face to face... It doesn't make a difference. People always leave me and they always hurt me... And I always hurt them... I'm DONE! I'm making a vow to myself now... NEVER again will I allow this to happen! I'm NEVER getting this close to ANYONE EVER again! NO ONE will EVER hurt me like this again!

Before I met this person, I was closed off... I was bitter, angry, resentful and vindictive... I put my trust in this person... They helped me up when I was at my lowest point... They showed me God and I converted... I was happy... I thought they cared about me, and now they're shutting me out and treating me as if I mean nothing to them... I can't do this again... I WON'T go through this again! I feel ruined... I feel broken... I want to hurt myself and I want to die!

I'm ugly! I'm stupid! I'm a good for nothing piece of **** and no one would blink an eye if I died right now! No one cares about me! I have no family... I have no friends... All I have is pain! I want it to be over... I don't want to hurt anymore! I don't want to hurt others anymore! I'm better off dead in the ****ing dirt!

Why did I have to get molested? Why did my mom have to abuse me when all I wanted to do was make her happy? Why was I bullied by the other kids in school? Why can't people just love me? That's all I want!

I wish God would just take me away right now... I want to go home! This world is too scary and painful for me... Just picture a little kid crying on the ground, curled up in a ball while being abused... THAT'S me! I'm still that little boy who just wants people to stop hurting him and love him! Underneath all the anger, underneath all the hatred... that's who I am!