I am sorry you are struggling. Finding right partner is tough for sure.

I don't have mental illness. But my husband has Tourettes, severe OCD and GAD. He controls it (to an extend) with meds and on and off behaviorial therapy. It does not bother me at all. His tourettes was very obvious on the first date but I was not 100% sure what it was. He explained it all on a third date. Certainly it didn't turn me off.

I wonder if you tell them on a first date? I don't think you need to wait for very long but I'd give it up couple of dates. Sometimes TMI on a first date is a turn off