I'm in therapy working on abuse issues from my mother who is now deceased. I won't see my T until the 2nd. He has told me usually abuse is from generation to generation.

My mom has always been very secretive about her childhood which was not unusual to me because there were a lot of secrets in our house. She has always told me she was raised by her aunt. I never asked questions, due to our abusive relationship.

When my mom died I was going through some paperwork and I found a name change document which my mom had her first and middle name changed when she was 16 yrs old in 1943. At that time I didn't think much of it and I wasn't in therapy.

She was born in 1927 and her birth certificate has her mother & father with the same address and there is a box that's check that the child is legitimate which I assume means the parents are married. It doesn't ask for the mother's married name only the maiden name.

My dad is also deceased and last night I was sorting some photographs which I hadn't yet done and I was feeling strong enough to do this. I came across some old photos of children and on the back it is written these are some of the children from the home. On one of the photos is a picture of a child and someone wrote my Mom's original name on the top. So this tell's me that she grew up in a children's home. There also are no pictures of her growing up until she met my Dad. She did not have any siblings. There are lots of pictures of my Dad and his family.

Here's where I need help. At first I felt very sorry for my Mom. I started to cry for the type of life she must have had. Then I started thinking how she lied to me and told me she was raised by an aunt. My Dad married her when she 20 yrs old and took care of her. She never had to work and he totally spoiled her. She took all her frustrations out on me instead of getting help.

I want to make excuses for her behavior, but I still have to process how I was treated. I feel so mixed up right now. I have such a headache thinking of all of this.

I don't have anyone that would know about her past except maybe an uncle on my Dad's side if my Dad told him anything. I'm going to try that.

I need your comments please. Why would someone back then change their first and middle names?

Thanks.