I ate normally today! It was amazing. I enjoyed all my food and didn't have to force myself to eat. It's been at least three weeks since I've felt like eating. I guess it was a symptom of my unstable mood. One I haven't gotten since I was 19.

I've felt stable for three days now. It's amazing. I missed stability. The depakote finally let me sleep and I'm sure that has a lot to do with me feeling more stable. I was at the point where 200mg of trazadone wasn't even doing it. 50mg of trazadone used to knock me right out.

Now that I can eat again I'm going to go back on low carb to hopefully stave off any weight gain from depakote. I feel like I'm stable enough to start cooking again. Maybe not every day but at least three days a week is my goal. I have other issues surrounding cooking so that's a good goal for myself.

Thank you everyone for all the support you gave me in the last three weeks, and really for the whole summer. Latuda was a disaster and I'm glad I had somewhere to come when things got bad. You guys rock!