Any way you and your stepmom can band together? :-) You could agree on which wish of each of you you want to insist on (you could feed your Dad at least one slice, luscious, homemade, Hungarian Beigli and your brother could then go back to insisting on the commercial, German Stollen :-) and your stepmother could choose something that you'd agree to back her on. Or, you two could confront your brother together and make him take a time out for half a day or something and leave the home to you women to take care of your father.

I'd tend to try to shame your brother into realizing that, excuse me, your father and stepmother are adults and got along together without his help for many years. . . so butt out and let your stepmother have some say (and then see if you could get a subset of that).

Or, you could fly a little further here to Maryland and my husband and I would be glad to devour your desserts!