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Old Aug 17, 2017, 02:19 AM
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SoupDragon SoupDragon is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: in a cave
Posts: 6,977
It is something my T encourages me to work on. I think it is a chicken and egg scenario for me, whether I had poor boundaries that led to difficult events for me, or whether the events caused me to develop poor boundaries.

I'm definitely a people pleaser, or reject people completely. I'm not good at saying "no" and then not carrying lots of guilt.

From being, I guess abusive, to me when I was younger, my father then fostered in me, a "parental" role, of taking care of him, being his confidant. I am sure that has led to lots of lots of confusions in me, regarding my "role" in life.

I struggle with knowing when it is ok to say yes, when I really mean no and when it might be ok to say yes, despite not really wanting to, as it will benefit someone and maybe it is ok to sometimes put ourselves out for others. To me the alternative is to be completely self serving and that does not feel comfortable either.
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