Confused, sorry you are feeling so down. Is there any thing small that you could do to raise your spirit a bit. Maybe a bubble bath, a walk, rent a good movie and curl up with some popcorn? I've recently been on a weird kick where I listen to some old music I have. When I find myself enjoying the song, I find the lyrics online and journal little bit about why I liked or connected to the song or describe how it makes me feel. Its seems to be helping me be a little more aware of what is going through my head and its keeping my mind busy. Today I've been sticking with up beat, energizing songs like Dare You to Move by Switchfoot. Maybe you can do something similar to express what your feeling or to change your general mood. For some reason it seems to be helping me at least at the moment.