I relate to you in some ways as in I have problems with my parents (so hard for me to write that!) I get on with them so well but that is only because I don't speak up a lot of the time for my own values and beliefs. I do what I can to please them. Keep secrets.

My dad finds it very hard to accept anything that goes against the grain too just like your mum. He's quite traditional in some ways. He doesn't believe in mental health issues (which has led to me hiding mine and not daring to talk to him about them) he is one of the 'just snap out of it' 'what has (insert name) got to be depressed about? She needs to get on with life!' Kind of people.

He also struggles accepting homosexuality. My sister is gay and I am bisexual although my partner is a man. My sister has almost been totally abandoned by my dad, or she has abandoned him. I'm not 100% sure which way around it is because I don't know exactly what happened. I just know they have a tense and awkward relationship. My dad is angry with her and most of the time they don't speak or see each other. So coming out to him is definitely not an option.

My mum is one of the nicest people in the world. She accepts my mental health problems however is more of a joker about homosexuals etc. She will laugh when she sees two men holding hands or point it out to me like it's something odd or weird, something that shouldn't be done. Whereas I think 'good for them' why shouldn't they hold hands. I feel proud of being part of such a brave community of people.

I think a lot of issues come from our parents and most of the time they don't mean to hurt us. They just almost push their views onto us and don't accept when we make our own. If we spend so much time with them it can be frustrating because you feel like you have to conform to their rules.

I think things will be better for you when you have a bit more control over your living arrangements. With independence you'll be able to live the life you want to and your mum's role in shaping how you live won't be as prominent. You may even get on better with her as hopefully you will be happier and discovering yourself without any limitations or worrying about how she will react, whether she will accept you.

In the mean time it's in your hands how much influence I suppose this has on you. It's your life and you shouldn't have to live inauthentically and not be yourself. It causes loads of issues with self esteem and such, trust me! Like hopingtrying said limiting your time with them can help, build a support network outside of your parents. Do stuff by yourself as well, stuff you really love. Find people who really support you regardless of who you are.

As for the hiv testing. I think everyone who is sexually active should be tested for all infections just make it a yearly thing like you would any other routine appointment at least until you're in a long term relationship and have both been tested! Also be as safe as possible and look after yourself. I don't know where you live but hiv is quite a difficult virus to contract and in most communities isn't very common, so most likely you'll be okay! But I think testing is a good, responsible thing to do!

Good luck