You do what circumstances dictate. You need to look after yourself.

What do you mean by ADHD combined? This sounds like it is more than an attention or hyperactivity disorder. How, I wonder, is he dealt with after such outbursts? In what way is he held accountable? Is he aware he is responsible for these acts and does he show any indication he is sorry or understands how his actions have impacted you and others (does he have a capacity for empathy)?. If he seems to not understand his responsibility and/or lacks empathy I think the problem is more than ADHD.

My step son was a handful. We went from a diagnosis of ADHD to beyond that. He lacked an understanding for responsibility and had no empathy. For example, he was caught stealing. He had no clue about responsibility. As far as he was concerned it was our fault he got into trouble. His thinking was as we gave him no money, and he deserved money, he was entitled to get it by whatever way he could. There was no understanding this was something he had done wrong. Similaiy there was no understanding the people he stole from were impacted.

We too endured the destruction of objects as he acted out his frustrations.

My recommendations are to find him therapy and to find it for yourself too. If financing this is an issue, go through the school. Most school boards have psychologists on retainer.