I relate so much to all of this, and the replies! For me it's like I've started to trust T and so far I've not been let down in this trust ever. Although it's kind of like I'm waiting for it, so I start to convince myself that by getting close I'm opening myself up to a world of hurt, I then start to completely shut down and back off.
I then panic that I push too much and she backs away, so end up emailing and apologising, it's like I'm stuck on a vicious cycle with this right now. At the moment I'm on push away mode! :-(