I relate to this as well. It's my normal instinct when I feel close to someone to push them away. Then I end up isolated and lonely/depressed.

I trust him a lot and feel very close with him so its becoming to the point I have a very strong urge to push away....but I try to keep reminding myself, it wont do me any good this time. I wont be able to get the help I need if I do that.