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although I do sometimes act in ways that hurt other people – it’s just not usually part of a conscious intention.
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I think I might do this sometimes but if so, it is like you say, not part of a conscious intention. It is not until later that I think, wait, why did I say/do this? It's kind of eerie when one is suspect of possible unconscious content entering the picture under a different guise.
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But hating my mother, personally? No – it might hurt her
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Yes, I get this. Anger, also, I think I suppressed (or whatever word is right) a lot of my anger that months ago started to emerge.
Thanks for bringing these points up.