Warning: glum post ahead

I've just been feeling so depressed the last week that I couldn't handle this additional decision about whether to send the in-laws cards or not. I know, I'm a wimp. So I did nothing. But yesterday, when my husband (guess I still don't call him "ex-" yet; we are still married) came over to get the kids to take them for several days for a trip to the in-laws, I did ask him to wish all his brothers and sisters Merry Christmas for me, and I said I would miss the family gathering and his oldest sister's special cranberry recipe (she and I are the only ones who like it, so it has been a running joke). Then he and the kids left.

So today, I was in my oldest daughter's room, and I saw a Christmas card lying there and picked up the envelope and saw it was addressed to her and my youngest daughter, at our address, from my husband's oldest sister. She sent my kids a Christmas card at my address and didn't include me in who it was addressed to. The kids spend almost half their days at their father's house (her brother) and she could have sent them a Christmas card there. And she never even sends us a card usually anyway, because we always spend Christmas with this sister at her house. She has always given us a card then, with her present for us. So I felt this card sent addressed to my kids at my address was really a slap in the face. She could have sent it to their dad's house, or given it to them personally on Christmas. I feel like she sent that card to them at my house to purposefully exclude me and send a message that she wants nothing to do with me but still loves the kids, etc. It was really, really hurtful. I am so glad now that I did not send cards to her or the other brothers and sisters. I feel like "hey, sunny, it's over, get real!" Whatever was I thinking to want to send cards to them? It's just like with my husband's brother's (ex-)wife. When they split up, the family all sat around trashing her and spewing vitriol. Why did I expect anything different from these people?

My ideal divorce: my husband and all his relatives would disappear off the face of the earth and leave me alone to be a mom to my kids with as little pain as possible.