Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
I personally do not believe that therapy, in terms of the therapist-client relationship, can realistically model healthy attachment in everyday personal relationships. Let alone "fix" issues around it. It is far too limited for that, the entire structure and how it is done is way too unnatural. But this is just my opinion.
I was also intrigued by the comment that healthy people are not aware of their attachments, or I guess I do not understand it. People routinely miss others they like and are close to, go out of their way for loved ones and relationships in general. Maybe it's just not called "attachment" in everyday life, but things like love, friendship, companionship, etc. I would rather imagine that those that are unaware of these feelings and motives in themselves are either very young or... quite unhealthy emotionally?
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I think maybe they meant not aware of attachment types?? Like people who are securely attached don't usually know they are securely attached or think about it in those terms. Secure attachments are like gravity. There, reliable, no need to think hard about it. . My best friend is avoidant but she doesn't know that. She knows she cares about people but doesn't like them too close but doesn't see how that works as an attachment style. Most people, if they have relatively good stable relationships, don't devote a lot of time to thinking about the underlying attachment dynamic..they just enjoy and experiencr the relationship.
I agree with tmc its about reframing. Early abandonment hypersensitizes you to the point where small things seem to threaten the relationship. That's not real. The work is learning to recalibrate your emotional reactions so you don't respond to every separation like a hurt child