Hi. I'm new here. I have suffered with depression for many years but have held it inside...I have decided to "let it all out"...it won't be easy as I have shown the world that "I"m all together". So, I will be pealing away the layers....hoping not to fall into the abyss in the process. Perhaps, I will start by saying that the holidays get me very down. I remember as a child being so "content"...not so much by the gifts...but by the "feeling"...that fleeting feeling of joy.....family, lights, the tree, and the christmas songs...family dinners...JOY. Well, what happened...about 18 years ago my mom became a Jehovah's Witness(I think in an attempt of getting out of the pressure of life and having a son...my brother...who is an alcoholic)....time passed...I "pretended" to be okay with the "No more christmas"...as Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate most holidays. I have two kids (10, 4 years old) so I do celebrate for them and with my husband(but he too is so depressed as his family is scattered in ARgentina, Germany, Brazil, and Venezuela)...so, let the pain come out. I hope through all of other's here experiences and advice to help heal myself.