and I am always this meek person, crying my eyes out in front of her, blubbering my feelings to her (in these scenarios that I conjure up in my head).

I would NEVER be like this w/anyone else in my life. I'd never want to be subservient...except to someone I have an attachment to.

I usually have these fantasy scenarios with the women in my life who I'm newly attached to and have hurt me- and I've usually walked away from. I kowtow to them and now this includes my ex-therapist. Even if they were mean to me and I had every right to walk away (which my gut usually tells me to do), I always fantasize about this type of emotional exchange after the fact.

I think about running into her and having this emotional exchange, putting all of my cards on the table and crying profusely. I don't really have an ending to this scenario in my head, but I'm sure it involves us resolving our differences amicably.

This isn't realistic. I don't really wanna run into her and when I'm out of my trance, the thought of seeing her kinda makes my stomach turn.

I'd stand up to anyone else. Get angry at anyone else for what she did, but when it comes to her and my attachment, I'm constantly questioning if I have the right to be angry at my former therapist and wonder if I'm being overly sensitive or "too much."

Does anyone else do this? Bow down to the attachment figures in their life? Can anyone identify with what I'm saying. I don't know why I want her to perceive me as weak, when I wouldn't behave that way for anyone else.