Thanks, emgreen. I don't know who that imposter was, moping around pretending to be me. This does almost feel like cheating; a drug that pumped me up like this would almost certainly be a controlled substance. My urges do not disappear; I have not smoked pot in ~25 years and I would love a couple of hits off that bong. Probably 30 years since the last time I had 'shrooms and a handful of boomers would be awesome. I really like euphorics; alcohol was a poor substitute but I could buy it legally and if I had to switch jobs and pee in a cup it would not cause trouble. I am fighting the good fight when I have to so far, but it helps a lot to have a med mix that keeps me out of the abyss most of the time. I can handle short stints down there but months at a time (which I used to get) would severely weaken my resolve.