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Old Aug 18, 2017, 05:29 PM
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amandalouise amandalouise is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,171
Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
thanks...

i know i shouldn't be doing what i do, it didn't used to cause problems for me in the past but its gotten worse lately and is causing problems for me now i know probably because of how i am feeling...

i do know how they are made... and i do know the effects...

i know what you are sayin too, amanda

i just can't help myself right now, im broken, beaten and battered

i would like to be sober and happy, but its not possible... i dont know how people do it, i hate my life, i hate my feelings, i hate my symptoms, i hate going through all of this but i think i just ran out of fight.. i just want to be numb and not experience the bad things, i can be someone different, i dont have to be in control i have found out...
i can let go and life can go on without me, the person that emerges is happier.. seems more confident.. although kind of crazy... but it seems to be ok because im getting along with people and havent gotten hurt, its just painful later because i end up thinking about my behaviors and how its just not me and feeling embarrassed...

but atleast im not in bed crying and cutting myself you know? that has to be better right? going out and socializing... not having anxiety or severe depression... but im not really all the way connected to the world..

couple people keep saying they are going to put me in the hospital though, but i dont see how they can put me in the hospital if i am not a threat to myself or anyone...
I'm sorry but I disagree. happiness is possible for anyone and everyone, a persons happiness doesnt depend upon their doing drugs. a persons happiness depends upon ones own will to be happy...

example for some people watching a favorite show gives them enjoyment. thats happiness...if I remember right you have some posts about books you like, articles you have liked and tv shows that you have liked.

heres a great book for you to read.... its called ....The Happiness Trap...by Russ Harris..

its all about how sometimes people try and search for happiness when in fact its not this big elusive emotion or feeling that sticks with ones life forever. its being alive, taking a look around you, engaging in everyday life.... its enjoying the little things in your life, maybe its that shirt you are wearing or that coat you like to wear or that dinner meal you are eating. or that tv show you are watching or that book you are reading or that article you are reading....or just being on the internet.... heres a great example...

obviously it gives happiness and enjoyment to come and post on psych central other wise you would not be a member here on psych central and would not take the time to write a post and then post it. if you didnt like psych central you wouldnt keep coming back.

at least you are not laying in bed cutting yourself up.....um no offense here shooting up / smoking a mixture of gasoline, draino what do you think is happening to your insides.... your cutting up, burning up, eroding with acids your insides. yea you cant see the cutting and stuff but if you really are doing meth and coke you are basically doing the same damage and more to your insides. so my opinion is you are again using cop outs and excuses rather than making the changes that will make your life better. like someone told my sibling you make your own choices by choosing drugs you are choosing not to have a good life you are choosing to have a slow painful death and you are choosing not to be happy. Im sorry you know I like you but no sympathy here on this excuse.

you know what you need to do to make your life better, its now up to you...

your thoughts that no one can hospitalize you ummm yes they can....

many states have recently enacted mental health laws that do allow for the involluntary commitment of someone who is not following their treatment plans in a way that is endangering their mental and physical health. doing drugs is one of those things, dropping off medications is also one if the person is someone who repeatedly drops out of treatment and off their medications where doing so places them in a situation where their mental and physical health declines/ gets worse or impacts their life and the life of others in a negative way.

all anyone has to prove is that you are a drug user and its causing your mental and physical health problems to become worse in a way that affects your life and your abilities to take care of and address your own mental and physical health decisions. if they do this someone else will be awarded guardianship over your mental and physical health decisions and then they place you in a long term mental facility until the court can be assured that you will not use drugs and alcohol again, stay on your medications and treatment plans, stay away from your drug dealers and many other strict requirements set down by a psychiatric review board, that you will have to go before just like if you had committed a crime and going to probation/ parole hearings.

many locations also now have mental health courts which also deal with this kind of thing.

my suggestion is give up the excuses, the drugs and do what you know you have to do to have a life with out the drugs and alcohol. only you can make your life better, treatment providers can be there for you to talk to, give you suggestions but only you make your life better or not, only you make your problems better or not.
Hugs from:
RubyRae
Thanks for this!
RainyDay107, RubyRae