A couple years ago my Mother said to me 'I wasn't a bad Mother - was I?' in a hopeful, kinda sad, kinda upset way. I said 'you did the best you could'. It would have only hurt her if I hadn't have said that. And... I guess I believe it. She did the best she could. Don't get me wrong - her best wasn't good enough. I had many years of hell as a child because her best wasn't good enough. But I honestly do believe that she did the best she could with what she had, yeah.

I don't expect my Mother had a terrific time as a child, either. None of that takes anything away from her best with me not being good enough for me. Her doing the best she could doesn't undermine my pain and trauma that are largely a response to her actions. But I do believe that she did the best she could, yeah. I still hate a lot of the things that she did to me. They were wrong, you shouldn't do those things to kids. But I'm part way toward forgiving her. I mean, don't get me wrong, she isn't a person who it is safe to let in emotionally. We never will be emotionally close. But I guess I'm coming to some kind of peace with her. Sad situation all around, yeah.