Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzen
That makes perfect sense about trying to be authentic is not authentic. It is like putting on a mask of what you expect people to believe is the real you...if that makes sense. I know I have different sides depending on the situation. When I started working as a teenager, I was funny and carefree. As I got older, I changed to be more serious. I realized my managers seemed to want serious and changed to please them. With some of my family, I try to appear confident and together - like I have no concerns. I feel they don't want to see the real me. It is interesting how much I have adapted my behavior to what people expect of me. It's a tough habit to break.
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Yes yes and yes! Totally get it. I've adapted so much. When I started my masters degree I felt a lot like I didn't fit in. It was really lonely and I felt really isolated with only a few people around me who weren't really interested in getting to know me or spend time with me. I desperately tried to change to make them see me I suppose, but they never did! I think this is something else that has contributed to me feeling not good enough.
I also used to be more carefree. I used to laugh constantly and was known for being cheerful and happy. I feel like that's been taken away as I've got older and tried to fit in more. I'm just not sure why. Wish i could have that person back! The ironic thing is I got on better with people when I let them see me.
The different sides thing is something that really confuses me. Especially because I want to be consistent with most people! However wear different masks depending on who I'm with too. Honestly it is only my partner who I feel i can laugh, cry and be mostly myself with, and even more as the relationship is developing.