I don't post so often, but I read in here a lot and felt the need to just respond because o have been following your story with WHT as of late.
I don't have much advice or infact many wise words, but just wanted to say I'm sorry that it has come to this because apart from the obvious, you seemed to have built quite a strong rapport and a good connection so I can just imagine what's going throighb your head right now.
I really hope whatever you decide, it works out well for you!