I was diagnosed with MDD and complex ptsd one year ago and anxiety in 2014. Even though had problems my entire life.

I am on my 3rd therapist due to trust issues. I finally found someone where there is a slight chance of trust. She had a family emergency & haven't had session since July 28. She advised me can talk to another therapists in the office. How am I suppose try to trust some one else? Especially, due to it may be temporary.

I truly feel bad for her situation,but why am I feeling so alone? It's like adandonment all over again. I am trying to get through this without my mind going crazy. Maybe since only had 4 sessions with her. Feeling really stupid, right now! Really hate when my emotions get out of control. I am trying keep everything in control without taking any medication. Even migraines are starting to increase and my dissociation is out of wack. She did advise me she should be back before September.

Apologize, if I am rambling......

My daughter and grand kids are about to move to their new home. I am really excited for them. The only thing is they keep me mind from wondering, inner anger under control , and suicidal ideation to a minium.