I didn't say it was her responsibility!

Do I expect her to always be there for me? No! I understand that she has her own stuff going on and I respect and care about her feelings! I've made it very clear to her that I want her to do whatever it is that makes her happy! She said that she genuinely enjoys talking to me! When she goes away for 2 weeks at a time, I worry and I feel lonely, but I don't complain! When she comes back, I always ask how she is and what's going on! I make it about HER, not about ME! But this is different, because I genuinely feel like I might lose her and when you care about someone, that ****ing hurts! It's not just about me feeling lonely; I'm worried about her too! This isn't all just about me! I'm concerned about my ****ing friend!

So, it's not like I'm smothering her. I give her plenty of breathing room. I don't want her to feel that type of pressure! I'm trying to work on myself, Crypts... I'm TRYING to find happiness elsewhere, and I've had some success. You know why I've had success? Because of her! She's my only friend and I need a friend to be there for me when I'm down! When she's down, I'm there for her too. That's what friends are for! I don't need her to be there all the time either! I just want to know that she IS going to be there at some point, and right now I'm not sure about that! As long as I know I have a friend that cares for me, I'm good! But no one likes to be abandoned by someone they care about! And because of her showing me forgiveness, because of her showing me God and because of her showing me love, I've been opening up more in general! I've been going to church! I've been socializing with other people! I've been feeling more comfortable being myself because she showed me that I could actually do that and someone would accept me for who I am! THAT's why I value her so much! She changed my life in a big way!

Quit making assumptions!