I'd like for the ladies with children to regail me with their tales of how things went. Specifically I am wondering:

-What did your contractions feel like? How did you know you were in labour?
The contractions kind of feel like a squeeze and release, and also a little like cramps. Before and througout contractions, you will find that your mucus plug is passing. It looks like a loogie, sort of. A big old booger that dislodges from the opening in your cervix when it begins to dialate, which is what causes contractions.

-Were you very frightened?
The first time, I was a little uptight. Didn't know what to expect and all. The second time. . .not a bit.

-How much pain am I looking at here?
It depends on YOUR mindset going into this and how "normal" of a delivery you are going to have. If you are being induced, be prepared for a lot of discomfort. Once in the hospital, you'll be relegated to a bed most likely, and though it *seems* comfortable to begin with, after ten or so hours, it can be miserable. B/c most hospitals require fetal monitoring now, getting up and moving around isn't always an option. Some hospitals use "wireless" monitoring however, and that can allow you some mobility. Believe it or not, being able to move and change positions helps a lot. Remember, you are not sick. There is nothing abnormal about what is going on. Childbirth is a normal part of life.

-Does the epidural hurt itself going in? Does it actually help?
The epidural process is a bit painful. That %#@&#! about it feeling like a "pinch" is a load of crap. They're sticking a needle into your back. . .waht do you think? But, it does help for a lot of women. Talk with your doctor abotu this option.

-Is there a possibility if I spiral into an anxiety attack that they will have meds to help out?
Probably not, b/c those medications cross the placental barrier. You don't want an infant getting a dose of Xanax, you know? It is really important that you have a good support system in place. Will your mother, sister, or a close friend be able to be with you? Have you considered a doula?

-When the baby is actually coming out, I have heard it BURNS very badly. Is this true?
You've got something the size of a football coming out of something the size of a garden hose. What do you think? Yes, it burns. But it happens so quickly at that point that if you just hold on for a second, it's over with.

-Does the tearing that can happen hurt alot? Do the stitches hurt alot?
With my first child, they gave me an episotomy. The doc also put in a "honeymoon" stitch that tighened me up so much that I later had to have surgery to fix that before we could have sex again. Don't let them do this. LOL With my daughter, I tore a little, not much. The midwife asked me whether I wanted stitches, I looked at the tear in a mirror and said, "nah." It healed just fine. Didn't bother me much at all. The stitches and episotomy site however irritated the crap out of me. Itching and burning and all that.

And, more embarassing

-What do they do about pooping and peeing while pushing? anything?

When you go into labor, and you KNOW you're in labor, make it a point to start drinking water. The water will help your bowels move hon. Most women have a bowel movement as part of their early labor experience. Same with peeing. Besides, pee that exits the urethea is sterile until it comes in contact with ambient air. If you tinkle a wee bit on your wee one's head, they'll clean it off. It won't hurt the baby, and trust me, they've seen their share of poop too.

Also any random tips on how to not be afraid and get through it.
If you want to PM hon, I'd be happy to chat a bit more iwth you. What you're going to find on the boards is that different women have different ideas about labor and delivery, and I don't want to offend anyone, or have my suggestions carpet bombed either.

I'm here anytime!!