Ironically, I have the better life on this. It is just that Paula is a bitter horrible person who's very existence makes me feel as if I am somehow the skank at the ball. It would not matter if I was married to Prince Harry she would say... notice.. not William.

In a weird way I wonder if I enjoy these grudges ... they make me feel superior or something. But I also recognize they are not beneficial to me.. but to step off them is to "compromise" something I don't know if I want to live my life with. In general in my life I have decided that I don't want to live with compromise. And to compromise for "friendship" or friendly relations seems silly because I can't be guaranteed that those "relationships" will be fruitful. But in failing to compromise I can be guaranteed I will get something out of it.