I've been off the boards for a bit but, I can't seem to stay away from this thread.

Sunny, my wife and me have been together 35 years this January. In all that time I believe that we have "tolerated" each others families. Neither of us is close to our extended familes. We have our boys and their wives and the grandkids. We all love each other and get along good. I think it is because none of us visit each other often although we live close by. We know that we can depend on each other if we have a problem but, we all have our own lives. There is an old saying "familiarity breeds contempt."

I think my wife and me have been together so long because we have seperated ourselves from others in both families. We are not ignorant to any of them we just know that we can't allow them into our lives in such a way that they are problematic. We won't listen to them cut another family member up and they know it. We will leave. If the mud starts to be slung, we always headed for the door.
Every one of my siblings is divorced. All of my wife's are still with their original mates. I think it is because they have little outside contact with other family members.

It is sad that they will treat you with scorn, after all you are the Mother of the children and should be treated with respect. You gave 20 years to their Son and Brother and he, (your husband), should make it clear that there will be no disrespect toward you in any manner. You will know the measure of the man by how he lets others speak about the Mother of his children.

Good luck to you and best wishes in the future.