Unholy Satan's Machinations!

That's all I've got today... Satan's Machinations.

I'm sure that none will be disappointed, nor trigger themselves silly.



Elina Löwensohn

Postscript: Lefty was lying! Just woke from a sweet night's sleep with the aid of diphenhydramine, valproate, and a hypnotic popular with Hillary's State Department whose trade name shall go unmentioned to avoid the appearance of endorsement. This drug combination is virtually guaranteed to render me dysfunctional before the Republicans lose control of the executive branch. I've signed a health directive that orders euthanasia after I start filling diapers. My long-suffering spouse will have had enough fun dealing with the hoots and hijinx of her manic-depressive husband and we won't have anywhere near enough money to pay someone to wipe my butt 24-7.

Ate dim sum in Chinatown yesterday with my wife and the Iscariot whom I had avoided since his devastating betrayal last October. The dim sum renewed a critical strategic partnership and took pressure off my wife, who has had to keep him close for a long ten months to maintain the partnership while I kept my distance. Travel has become a heavy manic button since ny mom died in 2006 but Iscariot has already paid for reservations to take my wife to Kyoto in November and the prized destination of Angkor next year. Iscariot is a highly unusual cryptosexual still a virgin at 66; Yesterday I rediscovered my enjoyment of invading his personal space and watching him vibrate in discomfort.

We visited a hydroponic supply store to buy a special fluorescent light bulb to illuminate and sustain Iscariot's orchid collection and investigated an adjacent and enormous antique consignment shop in the relatively expensive retail and residential district of Kahala loaded with overpriced "antique" garbage and operated by a friendly imbecile that within eight months will be torn down and replaced by a survival equipment store, a high-end gun shop, an indoor firing range and a $800-per-ounce medical marijuana dispensary that will keep half of Kahala high while wiping out the hydroponic supply store. Oahu's southeast coast is a cruelly competitive market with no room for a bunk consignment antique store the size of a bowling alley.

Long before Iscariot's dastardly stunt and before I endured major cardiac surgery we set up a trust to provide for my mother-in-law in case my wife and I met in the Sweet Hereafter together or in rapid sequence and appointed him executor and eventual beneficiary before the spoils went to the nuclear family of my jerkface brother; he relishes the possibility of that responsibility and the rewards it might bring and immediately after my reappearance in his life he resumed announcing his obsessive and quite disturbing plots to bump off me, my wife and my mother in law by what methods and in what order. I always played along and had to correct him yesterday in the necessary order of our departure to his advantage and he revealed that he would be out of the country when it all went down, which led me to suspect the participation of the Hawaiian Syndicate (Yakuza clans who use Hawaii as a midway station between Japan and mainland America) or pro-Kuomintang triads from Chinatown. It's a strange comfort to know how, approximately when, and for what reason I will die. Iscariot apparently still has no idea of the explosive potential of my manic aggression and the spooky physical strength of my wife, whose two oldest uncles are legitimate and prominent members of the Sumiyoshi-kai yakuza clan active in Tokyo. She is relatively short and slim and doesn't work out, but I would bet someone else's big money that she could walk into a gym and effortlessly bench her own weight.

My defective brain continues to torture me incessantly with unpleasant memories and unfulfilled aspirations, and has even managed to dig up new and long-suppressed material. I've adopted new strategies to distract myself from the pain or to embrace it and incorporate it into my horror fiction, which has magically re-emerged after twenty years of blinding sunshine and inescapable darkness.

That's all for now, to those who have had the patience and interest to read this far. Everybody hang in there until Lefty's next sales pitch.