Very much identify with this, but as a math geek I may view the end result differently. In that I feel like I am now connected to the real world in a way that the magical, fantastic world would not permit. By being unable to see past the delusion, I saw only a facade created in my mind; and not the immense beauty of the natural world, as it is.

I wouldn't stop with your novel of course, but maybe pause and dig in to what the real world is like without magic and illusion.

It can be just as beautiful.

Interestingly enough, my stabilizer seemed to break most of the illusion by itself; the AP did finish it off a bit later though. I might have been mildy, magically manic at the time though, just maybe.. :-D