Daisy, I can sympathize with your feeling like a failure (Ive been there a lot myself), but feeling like a failure is not he same as being a failure. You clearly have tried to make the relationship work, but the responsibility for the relationship lies as least as much on his shoulders as on yours. Psychiatric diagnoses are imperfect attempts by imperfect human beings to oversimplify (often so that they feel they understand when they really don't) the complexities of human nature. They can be painful -- understandably, since they are oversimplifications and therefore inaccurate. Your email to your T is very well-expressed and adult. A time when you are going through a lot in your personal and professional life is a time when a good T should focus on supporting you through that difficult time. If instead, he's just adding complications to your life, it is indeed time to end the relationship.