Short and sweet, because I've got to stop at the store and get home. I know no one will agree, but my OCD is a tangle, and more complicated than most others. If you think that's an excuse, that's fine, but it's what I think. My boyfriend's away again, for the eclipse. People say, "You were fine the last time he went away, and you'll be fine this time." No, I wasn't fine. And I'm not fine now. I didn't mean I wouldn't survive. I meant I'm going through more hell than usual. I want to shut down. I want things clean again. I want a new house and things I can't afford. My new psychologist (still seeing my psychiatrist, too) told me on our last appointment (the second one) I should find a new boyfriend. That's cheating, and there's all kinds of wrong with it. I'm not suicidal, but I'm so depressed. I've never been this depressed for this long. I'm so lonely. Just wanted to say something. Thanks.