I have no clue which day it is, but I am almost sure that the whole month I've been in a transition between my normal state and mania and to be honest this usually happens in the matter of not more than a week. Week is even a huge amount of time. But the more I am stuck in this period the more psychotic I get, and the more I do not sleep. This is my first clean all nighter, usually I get a hour, of sleep during the night, but not tonight.
I just want to feel numb and sleep the whole day away, I've never been that bad. And the longer I stay awake the more psychotic I become and the hardest it is to fall back to sleep. I've come to the conclusion that I do not need sleep meds, I need anti-anxiety meds. Because I am dead tired. But whenever I try to sleep my brain goes to China and back, and I'm not okay with that. I've never had so much delusional thoughts in one night.
Just wanted to share how much I actually miss depression.
So if you miss your other "part" go ahead and share.