Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDragon
Hey Krow,
Sorry to hear that things are so rough for you right now. Moving out and starting fresh is something that's definitely worth thinking about for the future. Is there any way you can start saving up for that while in school?
It definitely sounds like you're struggling a lot with gender dysphoria. Is there any way you could find a therapist/counselor/etc to speak to? There are a lot of people who specialize in gender dysmorphia/transgender issues nowadays.
Your relationship sounds like it's quite complicated. Does your partner know about your gender dysphoria issues? It sounds to me like you may have to reiterate your asexual and aromantic nature as some people will acknowledge and go along with everything you say at the beginning of a relationship because they like you so much, hoping that you'll one day change to become what they want.
From what I've heard from my friends who struggle with trans and gender dysmorphia issues, family can either be the strongest support or the biggest headache. While it sounds like your father is fairly accepting, your mother sounds problematic in that she's not only unsupportive but critical of the way you are. If you're a lot closer to your father, perhaps you can approach him in confidence about how to navigate around your mother?
Hang in there. I'm wishing you the best.
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Actually, I have considered moving to another nation altogether once I graduate, though saving the funds for such a geographical transition would prove rather difficult in the first place. Fortunately, my tuition is largely funded through merit-based scholarships, so I should ultimately graduate without any student loans. Still, such a circumstance may necessitate that I accept a temporary internship or job in which I may gain access to such funds (which fortunately should be simpler in an engineering profession). I have never really spoken to a therapist, as that would entail involvement with my mother into the matter, so that too would require a delay until I am able to live on my own (since I commute from home).
As for mentioning the issue to others, I have never discussed it with another individual before, since I do have a tendency to isolate myself in the first place. Honestly, I am not quite sure how my friend would actually react to such a matter, especially without ever receiving a professional diagnosis. However, I am not fond of engaging in such a close relationship with another individual, even though we have been close friends for several years now. Originally, I wondered myself whether or not my position would change in reference to such relationships, yet after several years, I have not changed one bit. Still, placing someone in the friend-zone after that long, and especially after he has stated that he intends to propose to me -- I am really not sure how to put it. I simply hope that if I eventually transition in the future that this problem shall not arise again.
As for approaching my family, I somewhat doubt that I should tell my mother at all. It may be preferable that I simply move out, transition, and let her know some point later in life. Still, while she does condemn the notion of gender transitioning, she could not stake it on political ideology, since a great deal of my ideas align to the right. It is almost as though the relationship proves a greater hindrance than mere criticisms themselves. Regardless, I appreciate the advise. Perhaps I shall have to improvise within the future, but I am certain that I shall manage a solution eventually.