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I'm not sure that I hold grudges really, but I do avoid certain people because I don't trust them, either because they have done something to me in the past to give me reason to not trust them, or because of the fact that I don't trust easily.
Just one example of many I could give. I live about 1/2 mile from my "best friend" from high school. I avoid her as much as possible. If I see her I do talk to her, but I won't go out of my way to see or talk to her. I have good reason for it. I won't go into details, but let's just say that she is part of the reason I now have CPTSD. And, I suppose, these incidents are part of the reason I don't trust easily.
I guess for me, I see it as self-preservation more than anything.
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"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
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